I bought the book, but I didn’t read it!
I skipped the steps and it didn’t work! It will never work! It’s a lie! I’m a failure! I suck! This sucks! Screw everything!
I can’t possibly set a price on my product and make the case for its value… I’ll make my potential customers do it! I’ll set up Pay What You Want!
I’m gonna re-start my newsletter! There will be so much great content! But I can’t just send them something awesome and useful. That’s too scary. What if they reject it? I better send a limp-wristed announcement first, with an entire unsubscribe paragraph. That way if they reject me, it’s because I basically begged them to, and that’s ok.
These examples may sound absurd or extreme…
But in my biz, I see it all the time. Like that email example? It’s real. You can read it.
People talk about self-sabotage as if it’s some evil lurking inside you.
It’s “the resistance.” It’s “the lizard brain.” It’s not you, not really… it’s the Bad Seed inside of you.
Wishful thinking. You’re not host to an alien parasite. Everything you do is “really” you. You’re one, single, whole person. And you can’t fight yourself.
Self-sabotage is a choice. It’s a bargain you made with yourself.
Self-sabotage is a shield. It’s a strategy. You deploy it intentionally. And you do it because it works.
It gets you the result you want: plausible deniability:
If I didn’t really try… well, it’s not really failure, is it?
You choose guaranteed failure — that you can explain away — over the potential of failure. You choose excuses and fakery over earnest effort that might not work out perfectly.
You choose a negative certainty over any uncertainty.
Is that how you want to live?
Is that who you want to be?
If not, well, you’ve come to the right place. Try this essay about working with reality on for size. And if you want to change your life but find yourself overrun with self-sabotaging coping strategies, I wrote a little bullshit-free book just for you.