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Ideology

Second-Hand Tales from the Startup Trenches: The Bitter Truth

There was a time when I was at the cutting edge of our industry.

I got in on Ruby on Rails, and the Javascript revival, at nearly the ground floor, and worked with some of the biggest people in the PHP community before that. Because I wrote and taught and talked, I was moderately famous inside these communities, well-connected, and a regular in green rooms at industry conferences big & small.

All this means I had the unparalleled opportunity to become friends or friendly acquaintances with the people who founded — or joined in the single digits — companies like 37signals, GitHub, Shopify, Odeo, Twitter, Peepcode, Kickstarter, Harvest, ENTP, Gilt, Couch, SimpleGeo, LivingSocial, Stikkit/I Want Sandy, Scribd, Quora, and Flickr… to name just a few.

My connections to these people gave me, in some cases, a front-row seat to the founding & growth of their startups. Sometimes the death of their startups, too.

I even did some early consulting work for some of them.

But let’s pause a moment.

This story isn’t about building up my image, here. Whooooa, look at me, I’m a well-connected superstar, rubbing shoulders with dot com millionaires! Fat chance. I know you don’t give a shit about that… nor should you.

I certainly don’t look around at the people I know, and have known, and feel “privileged to know them” because they’re famous (or, in some cases, rich). I feel lucky because many of them are awesome people.

But what makes me feel especially lucky is that, thanks to my proximity, I’ve had an unparalleled chance to lurk & learn. I’ve learned so much by just watching things play out.

And sadly, a lot of what I’ve learned about venture-backed startups has been sadness and despair.

This is why I engage in such pro-bootstrapping saber-rattling. This is the reason why I believe what I believe so strongly. Not because I’ve been burned, not because of sour grapes, but because I’ve had one depressing behind-the-scenes look after another.

(Note: a small handful of the companies I named in my list are actually awesome, and inspirations to me. You can guess which ones.)

Exhibit A: Founders, Post-Acquisition

Here’s an example:

A few years ago, I met a designer I admired at SXSW. He’s not super-famous and you might not know his name, but I knew and loved his work, and he’d designed and created an amazing web app… which he sold to Google.

(NOTE: This app is not named in my list above.)

The sale was not terribly long before the conference, but long enough that the app had dropped off the face of the internet.

I said to him, “Hey, congrats on the sale! When can I start using insertapphere? I was on the beta list forever but not early enough to get an invite!”

He gave me some PR spin story about integration yadda yadda. It was clearly a party line and it was equally clear that he didn’t believe it.

Because the fact was this: Google had shut his app down, to cannibalize its parts, and they were taking forever even to do that. His previously healthy, well-loved, popular baby was dead. And allegedly the arms and legs of the murdered baby were going to be grafted, Frankenstein-style, onto an existing app… some day… but for now and the foreseeable future, they were on ice. Waiting.

He had that wan, worn-thin quality of a person trying to put a good face on things.

Lemme tell you: nobody drinks like a person who believed he’d be biting into the delicious fruit of victory, only to have it turn to ash in his mouth.

And this, my friends, this is a story of how shitty things are when they go right.

Here’s another:

Exhibit B: Investors/Trusted Advisors

This is a story about a startup you’ve definitely heard of (but again, not on my list above).

In the year before that last story, back when I was a wage slave, I worked for a firm which hired me out as a consultant. I worked on some interesting projects, including one of those fancy stealth startups so popular in the mid-aughts.

One of the investors was, and is, a big shot in the tech world: Marc Andreesen.

Being a web nerd, I nearly squee’d my pants at the prospect of meeting & working with the big guy. (Even if only via teleconferences and IRC meetings.) How exciting!!

What a disappointment.

As a developer working closely with the founders, I was shocked at the general ignorance of the team, him included. (Ignorance about technical possibilities, and a total pie-in-the-sky fantasy about users.) The optimistic team player that I was (was!), I tried to put on a good face. Hey, they were the experts, right? They were the ones with the money, right? Maybe I was wrong.

But I wasn’t wrong.

It was no surprise to me when this regrettable startup launched and everybody was all “uhh… okay… what is it?” Cue the sound of a fuse fizzling out, and desperate pivoting.

But 6 years later — just last fall! — surprise, surprise, this “startup” finally, finally sold.

Now, this startup sold for $150 million, which sounds good, right? But according to TechCrunch, that’s only 26% more than the Series C, D, & E rounds added together. After 6 years! But hey, that’s a profit, right? Maybe it’s not a 10x return… or even a 2x return… or even a 1.5x return… but still, the investors didn’t lose money, right?

Perhaps.

Then again… this startup also received Series A & B rounds but the amounts are secret. So perhaps it was sold at a total loss.

Just another outwardly awesome story, which on closer inspection turns out to be nothing but a shallow façade.

A story about the real results delivered by one half (Andreesen) of one of the most respected and prominent VC firms (Andreesen-Horowitz).

This project was my first exposure to the thick, creamy layer of bombast and other people’s money slathered on to disguise idiocy and incompetence, like icing on a lopsided cake.

Sadly, it’s become a theme.

Exhibit C: Early Stage Employees

Last one:

I have friends who work in some of the sexiest San Francisco startups, a veritable Who’s Who. Some of them are so early that they have significant shares, either vested or nearly so.

None, none of them are planning to stick around for the long term. (A few say they are, but that’s just putting a good face on it, like I tried to do in Exhibit B. But as their friend, hearing their stories, believe me, the end is in sight.)

Most of these stories I can’t tell or even hint at because these folks haven’t shared their intentions to quit with their employers. Plus in some cases, there’s vesting at stake, blah blah blah.

But there’s one story I can share:

An extremely talented developer friend of mine recently moved from Europe to San Francisco to work at a popular, well-funded startup.

My friend is truly an expert in his field. More importantly, as a contract developer who has products of his own, he’s skilled at speccing, planning, curating, finishing, shipping and selling and supporting… the kinds of skills any startup should, in a sane world, bend over backwards to acquire and retain.

Which is exactly why I felt the need to warn him about the kind of work culture he was likely to find, based on what I’d seen and heard over & over.

My warnings fell on deaf ears. I’m pretty sure he thought I was just being a zealot. I’m definitely biased. (Although my bias comes from experience, and not the other way around!)

My friend was therefore shocked, shocked, to find out how badly managed this startup was:

Products shipped, partially and late, with no intention of supporting them after a month. (A waste of so much time & effort! Utterly demoralizing!)
A toxic culture of overwork, which nevertheless failed to produce output.
A complete lack of planning and accountability.
Intense politicking even inside a tiny team (a team which should, by all rights, be too tiny to support political feuds!).
A boss who seemed determined to prevent him from doing his best work.
Bullshit piled on bullshit.

It drove him crazy. As a person who was used to doing great work, he just couldn’t take it. The money was amazing (even I was shocked at his salary!) but he gave it all up because it was killing him inside. He quit and moved back to Europe.

It’s tempting, I know, to say to yourself, “Wellll, that sounds like an extreme case.” But my massive amounts of anecdata says otherwise.

As a well-connected lurker, I’ve seen and heard much, much worse — about even better funded, more popular, more “successful” startups.

Conclusions?

I chose these particular stories because they are in the past, and well past, and can’t hurt anyone, even if you sleuth out who I’m talking about. All of the information is out there, too, if you dig — I’m betraying no secrets.

Nevertheless, even this tiny slice of what I’ve seen & felt & experienced & heard paints a pretty clear picture on the three levels of this business: founder, venture capitalist, early employee.

There’s only one conclusion we can draw:

98% of what we read in the tech press is boosterism.

People who make money off startups have a vested interesting making you believe that you, potential future founder, could be shiny & happy & rich. People who have had their startups acquired want to believe that they are shiny & happy & rich.

But the smiles are so often pasted on.

Think about it:

Have you ever read a blog post announcing an acquisition where the founders wrote, “We didn’t want to sell, but we ran out of cash”? How about “They’re going to rip us up and use us for a purpose entirely opposite of what we intended”? Or even, “We’re sorry, this sucks”?

No, of course not. Not only would such honesty almost surely jeopardize their acquisition relationship, not only would it potentially expose them to legal action… it would make them look ungrateful and petty and spoiled.

So just from this little thought experiment alone, it’s pretty obvious why acquisition announcements must blow sunshine up our collective asses. Everyone must be excited. Everyone must say things will get better and better.

We’ve got acquisitions covered. What about VC investments, then?

It’s clear that this Must Blow Sunshine Rule must be equally true when it comes to discussing what it’s really like to work with venture capitalists in general, and individual VCs in specific.

The downsides are almost never discussed publicly — not because there aren’t downsides, but because they can’t be discussed.

The Must Blow Sunshine Rule is even true, to a slightly lesser degree, for employees of startups: If you trash talk your company, you can be fired, and if you’re fired, your options stop vesting. Plus, who would want to hire you then?

All this boils down to this:

The only people who know what it’s really like are the people who are in it, and the people who are close to people who are in it. And those people, too — the close ones — aren’t talking, because they want to protect their friends (and their future selves).

Which means that unless you’re in the thick of it, or well-connected, all you get is the shiny happy icing.

It sure looks good.

But incompetent and malign investors, miserable acquisitions, shitty jobs… these are the rule, not the exception. But from the outside, you’d never know it.

Under the shiny exterior, the cake is crumbling and lumpy and tastes like old socks.

And thanks to the conspiracy of silence, you won’t find that out that til you start chowing down.

Ideology — 3 Comments
25
Aug 11

The Problem with the Startup Craze… by Steve Jobs

Apple - Press Info - Apple Leadership - Steve Jobs.png

Below is a quote from an essay by Steve Jobs

When I got started I was 20 or 21, and my role models were the semiconductor guys like Robert Noyce and Andy Grove of Intel, and of course Bill Hewlett and David Packard. They were out not so much to make money as to change the world and to build companies that could keep growing and changing. They left incredible legacies…

But then, the rewarding thing isn’t merely to start a company or to take it public. It’s like when you’re a parent. Although the birth experience is a miracle, what’s truly rewarding is living with your child and helping him grow up.

The problem with the Internet startup craze isn’t that too many people are starting companies; it’s that too many people aren’t sticking with it. That’s somewhat understandable, because there are many moments that are filled with despair and agony, when you have to fire people and cancel things and deal with very difficult situations. That’s when you find out who you are and what your values are.

So when these people sell out, even though they get fabulously rich, they’re gypping themselves out of one of the potentially most rewarding experiences of their unfolding lives. Without it, they may never know their values or how to keep their newfound wealth in perspective.

— Steve Jobs, Fortune, Jan. 24, 2000

I have been a devoted Apple customer since the bad old days. I watched, as a fan, when Steve came back and rebooted everything and Apple rose like a phoenix from the ashes, becoming better than it ever was, and making better products than it ever had. Nobody has inspired me as much as Steve has. I wish him only the very best.

It was only a few days ago that I found this essay. While I hadn’t known Steve’s opinion on “the internet startup craze” until just now, I learned his position just as surely from watching him as reading his exact words.

You might also enjoy this essay I wrote in April, 2010: The iPad, and the Staggering Work of Obviousness.

Hard Work / Ideology — 64 Comments
11
May 11

21 Lessons Learned from 16 Years of Hustling

Today I turned 27. For whatever reason, this feels like an important birthday. And it has been one helluva year, with huge changes (good and bad) that I’m still only now coming to terms with.

While reflecting (and all that touchy-feely jazz), I realized something: Just how long I’ve been at this, the project of my life, the Project of Me. I’ve been hustling since I was 11, when I got my first freelance gig and realized there was a whole other world outside of middle school.

At 12, I hustled and scrimped and wheedled and bought my very first computer that was all my own, a deal I found on Usenet. At 14, I dropped out of high school to homeschool myself. At 15, I moved out of my abusive mother’s house and never looked back.

At 20, after years of unremarkable, dilletante-y freelancing, a pathetic and anxiety-producing (lack of) social life, and desperate, mindless clinginess, I got:

dumped & kicked out by my long-term boyfriend
scammed out of 3 months’ work by a pathological con artist
ran up a bunch of credit card debt as I ran completely out of money
caught a bad case of mono
got so sick I couldn’t work
had my car stolen (by my ex-boyfriend, no less)
nearly got sued by a client whose work I was too ill to complete

Yep, all in the span of about 6 months. I hit rock bottom, and there was nothing for it. So I got real and rebuilt my life. I changed just about everything… except my name and my sense of humor.

In short: I went on a completely life-altering Crusade of Amy. Nobody who knows me today would recognize the me of 7 years ago, if they hadn’t watched it happen. I’m still a work in progress, but I have learned oh so very, very much. (All the hard way.)

So, for those of you who love list posts, and who love a take-no-prisoners kind of philosophy, and for those of you who are in the midst of great change yourselves, I present to you: A big old grab bag of the most important lessons I’ve learned in my entire, eventful, dramatic 27 years on earth and 16 years of intentional hustling (both personal and professional).

These are numbered for ease of use, but not arranged in any particular order.

21. Be yourself on your own terms

Don’t compare yourself to other people. No, really, I mean it. Don’t identify with any labels, or traits, or habits, or tools, or things you do — and take careful note when you find yourself doing so automatically, anyway.

It took me years to embrace being a woman. You know why? Because I believed in the label, despite hating it. I believed that “woman” actually meant something… and then I’d look around at all the girls and women I knew, and the way they behaved and what they valued, and I’d feel embarrassed to be “one of them”. Or, if not embarrassed, just terribly out of place, because I couldn’t identify with them or understand them at all.

But you know what? Turns out the label doesn’t mean a damn thing. There is no such thing as Women, The Group. It’s just a bunch of people who have the same anatomy (mostly) and some shared traits (sometimes). By buying into the label, I was not only alienating myself, but insulting & denigrating other women for not living up to my idea of what it should mean. What a total ego trip!

So now, every time I see some kind of “holy war” rage on the internet (whether it’s about gender, politics, industry acronyms, or programming styles), or a rift form in a real life community, I thank my lucky stars that I’ve given up the job of defining & judging the world.

(It also took me years to get over the idea that I ought to be Serious Business. That the right thing to do was to Think Serious Thoughts, Do Serious Work, and Look the Part. That, because I was so smart, it was embarrassing and wrong to love silly music, be loud and boisterous, to wear flamboyant colors and draw attention to myself… Needless to say, I’ve got green hair. And I’m wearing candy-striped socks and a neon yellow hoodie right now.)

20. Everyone can change, but almost no one ever does

Be an exception. Become a student of life and a student of change. Journal. Take notes. Analyze what you do that achieves what you want, and what you do that doesn’t, and figure out how to change the latter into the former.

You only get one life. Make it count.

19. Admit it: the problem is probably you

And if it isn’t, you should claim it anyway, cuz nobody makes progress by blaming others. The path of blame leaves you with no further action except to sit on your butt and share your woeful tidings. Taking responsibility (and blame) for yourself, on the other hand, gives you a path to becoming a more excellent individual.

Even if it really was somebody else’s fault, and there was absolutely nothing you could have done to change the outcome that time, you still win. Because you’ll be stronger, better, faster, smarter.

18. Be your own harshest critic… but only with love

It’s rare that anyone will pay enough attention to anything — a book, a poem, an album, a painting, a piece of software — to truly understand what went into it, and what didn’t. You, on the other hand, as a creator, know. You know when you’re phoning it in. You know when you cut corners. You know when you didn’t do enough prep work or spend enough time on it. You may be the only person who will ever know. So you have to call yourself on your own shit (but with love).

Don’t rip on your work or yourself, just tell yourself, “C’mon now. That may be pretty good, but you know you could do better. Here’s how.”

17. Make no room for whiners, users, or vampires

Imagine that you only have so much energy for life, and that there are two types of people: 1. people who add energy to your life, and 2. people who suck it up or waste it. Do your very best to only associate with people in the first category. Haters, nonconstructive critics, attention whores, apathetic losers, chronically needy people, sycophants, and toadies are all drains on your energy bank. Get rid of them.

16. Don’t make excuses for people

Make it a goal to not become an obstacle to growth in the lives of others. If people you love (or even just like) fuck up, don’t make excuses for them. Treat them like an adult, and act as if you assume, at all times, that they are responsible for their own choices and their own behavior.

Hold yourself to a higher standard (see Lesson #19) and model productive, growth-oriented thinking for everyone else.

15. Laugh at yourself first

You can’t be blackmailed by something you admit publicly — and neither will laughter hurt you if you start it. Bullies and haters rely on cringing fear, and secrecy. So abolish those things. Laugh at yourself first, and the bullies will have to sniff elsewhere for their kicks.

Plus, life’s just more fun this way.

14. Be what you want to have, and do it first

To have friends, be a friend. To gain love, be loving. To gain others’ trust, be trustworthy and trusting. To connect with people who will create energy in your life, learn how to create energy in others’ lives. To laugh, learn to make others laugh. To hear others’ experiences, share yours.

Don’t get caught waiting for somebody else to make the first move, because that moment may never come.

13. Get real about what love means

Deep down, we all wanted to be adored and cherished for exactly who we are, right now. And fuck anyone who tries to tell us otherwise. But that is the thinking of a child — and we are adults, so we know, however deep down, that to have the love we want, we must earn it.

True love (platonic and romantic) is about opening, and growing, and thinking of others. And it is the best reason to strive to be a better person.

12. Be honest about what you really want in life.

Don’t steal others’ goals (money, beach bum lifestyle, dreamy hobbies) out of laziness. You not only won’t get what you really want, you’ll never even have the drive you’d need to achieve the stolen goal, either. And that means you’ll get nothing but half-assed effort and full-assed disappointment. So get real about what you truly want in life. Take the time to figure it out. When you figure it out… don’t deny what you truly crave, no matter how much you think you shouldn’t want it. The heart wants what the heart wants, and chances are, your heart knows better than your brain.

11. Always admit when you’re not giving your best effort…

And when your best effort doesn’t work, redouble your efforts, and quadruple if necessary. (Not just working harder and longer, but trying all the different ways and angles you can.)

10. …but know when to quit, without regrets and without looking back

When you’re doing your absolute best, but you’re making no headway for a good long while, cut your losses without regrets & don’t look back (except to learn from it).

Some problems can’t be solved by working harder. A few can’t even be solved by working smarter. (Especially the type of problems where you have to convince someone else to change — when in doubt, see Lesson #20.) There’s something to be said for knowing when to quit.

(These two lessons have been especially meaningful for me over the past 12 months, when I closed a partnership that wasn’t ever going to work (despite trying many different approaches), decided to move back to the US for my own happiness (despite trying all sorts of ways to make a happy life here in Austria, for nearly 3 years), and decided to have surgery to help me correct a health problem I “could” but knew I never would be able to fix on my own.)

9. Expect the best of everyone, but always believe the evidence

Be trusting by default (except when it comes to contracts and negotiations). But take note when a person shows or tells you what they’re really like. I don’t mean when a person makes a mistake. Everybody slips up once in a while, does something that they regret (and that makes others cringe).

But when a person tells you up front what they’re like (“I’m kind of a jerk,” “I’m not interested in anything serious”) — or when they show meanspiritedness, hatefulness, cowardice, dishonesty, apathy, or a tendency to control or use others more than a couple times — take note. Take their behavior at face value and believe it (and especially don’t make excuses for them — Lesson #16 in action).

Corollary: the more a person talks about how great, honest, giving, etc., he or she is, the greater the chance they’re anything but.

8. Stop waiting for an invitation

Cuz it’s never gonna come. You’re never going to receive an invitation to greatness, or even pleasant mediocrity.

Everyone on this planet is self-absorbed. Too wrapped up in their own lives to have any energy to devote to worrying about yours. Nobody will care more about your life and your achievements than you will. Nobody knows more about what you can really accomplish. Nobody is going to invite you to do your best work, do something really awesome, or to change the world. Nobody but you.

So get on it.

7. When it comes to business, always know your power ratio

You need to know when “they” need you more than you need them. Figure it out and then make your decisions accordingly. (And “business” includes regular old employment.) If you’re in a business arrangement with somebody, and you’re getting a crappy deal, you have only yourself to blame.

6. Everything is negotiable, so negotiate.

Haggling and negotiating can’t physically hurt you, so why let the fear stop you from doing it? Bonus: (if you’re any good) chances are that your boss or your clients need you more than you need them. Again, nobody will advocate for you more than you will, so get on it. And if you’re scared of negotiating, pick up a couple books and then create a practice program for yourself.

That’s how I managed to negotiate a 4-day work week (of 8-hour days) at the age of 22 at my second, staid, semi-corporate job… and many other lucrative deals since.

5. Ask

Every job I’ve ever had, I got by asking for it. Yep, that’s right, I didn’t apply for a job listing — I asked someone in the company, specifically, if they had (or would create) a place for me. And I told them why they ought to.

Again, everyone is self-absorbed — they don’t look at you and think, “Gee, I wonder if she could help us out?” No. You gotta take initiative and plant that idea yourself.

Asking works, and rejection won’t kill you. Try it.

4. Unless you’re a humongous ego, you can always charge more

True fact. The smarter and more thoughtful people just about always undercharge. This is out of an absurd, misplaced sense of guilt. It helps no one, and hurts you (and sometimes even your customer/employer), so quit it.

Educate yourself on value and price accordingly.

3. Everything is a skill

Can you learn to be funny? Can you learn to be outgoing? Can you learn to give inspiring talks? Can you learn how to sell? Can you learn to be a great kisser, or to be one of those magnetic people who draws interest? Can you learn to be a person other people love to be around? Most people don’t think so. But I can tell you for a fact, the answer is “YES!” You can learn all of these things and more. How do I know?

Well, until I got totally fed up with my tiny, sad, insular life at the age of 19, I was a wallflower with social anxiety who always managed to interrupt at the wrong time and who made loopy jokes that nobody ever got, who talked way too much (to the point of awkwardness) to compensate. I spent all my time with people trying to decide what to say, and so I was a terrible listener. I butted in. I forgot people’s names. I didn’t realize when I was making one horrible faux pas after another, because my working understanding of people was so poor. I was terrified of rejection, of every type. I literally hyperventilated my way through my first serious public talk.

Now, everyone thinks I’m a natural, and naturally hilarious, extrovert and gifted speaker. That’s all because they have no way of knowing how hard I sweated it out to get there. Thanks to years of applied effort, I now understand people (perhaps too well), am no longer held captive by my fear of rejection. And I have it on good authority that many consider me to be an excellent listener, too. (I even got to be great at names — but sadly, that’s something that my chronic illness wiped out. Sigh.)

You, too, can create an “exercise” program and “obstacle” course for any “natural” skill you want. There are books on everything (even kissing). If you remain bad at something you want, get real and admit it’s cuz you don’t want to put in the effort.

2. It’s never about you

Read something on the internet and get all offended cuz the author dissed your favorite life choice/programming language/company/90s band/vampire novel? It’s not about you. Somebody thought you weren’t worth their time, attention, kindness, or money? Not about you. Somebody slammed you or you work? It definitely wasn’t about you. Somebody made a sexist, racist, ageist, weightist, whateverist comment to you? No way it was about you.

Somebody tried to screw you over, to manipulate you, lie to you, hurt you? It’s not about you.

Remember how I said everybody is self-absorbed pretty much all of the time? It’s the god’s honest truth. We’re all trapped in our own little darkness behind the eyes, and so just about everything we do is about us. Some need we have, some problem or desire or bias of ours. We so rarely even imagine the other people as being fully functional beings like us… we tend to look at them as paper cutouts that walk and talk. And who pays attention to paper cutouts?

So when somebody does something that pisses you off or hurts you, remember: it’s not about you. They’re probably barely even thinking of you. Don’t wonder, “What does this say about meeee?” Because the answer will almost always be, “Nothing at all.” Ask, instead, what it says about them. (And then analyze your own actions the same way. Fight the animated-cut-out syndrome. Remember: there are real people in there.)

And lastly, but not leastly…

1. Memento Mori

Finally, my grim but beautiful secret, one so important that I plan to make it the theme of my very first tattoo:

Memento Mori. Remember EVERY DAY that you’re going to die.

Look at your life as it is currently, and ask yourself, “How would I feel about myself on my deathbed if I lived out another 40, 50, 60 years exactly like this?”. Do an Ivan Ilyich on yourself. Then, if the vision horrifies you, figure out what you need to change, and do it.

When you think about your eventual death, everything changes. The things that seem “little” on a weekly or monthly basis can suddenly become critical — and things that seem catastrophic right now can look trivial.

Maybe today you’re spending too much time on work that doesn’t feel worthwhile to you. Maybe you are working with people you don’t hate, but you don’t really like either. Maybe you’re living in a place that doesn’t feed your soul, and telling yourself you’re doing it “just for now, for the money/family/convenience/whatever.” Maybe you don’t spend enough time with people who lift you up, people you love. Maybe you’re in denial, imagining that if you just tough it out a little longer, your real life will begin.

Today those may not seem so important, but if you stretch that out over the rest of your life? Compounded by the fact that nobody’s gonna do a course correct for you? Whoa nelly.

On the flip side: Bummed today cuz you quarreled with someone you love over something trivial? Or because you can’t afford something fancy you want? Or because you owe taxes or student loans? Or you think somebody on the internet is wrong (or angry at you)? Well. These things shall pass, you know they will.

And if these little nagging problems truly dominate your life, use your deathbed fantasy to realize how little you will care about them in the future.

Take the teeth out of death. Use it as a lens to improve your life.

Fin

The list goes on, but I’m tapped out (and you probably are too). So, tell me: what lessons have I missed that you’ve learned the hard way?

Ideology / Purpose — 36 Comments
18
Mar 11

Dear Startup World: Chill the Fuck Out

Coming here from The Drama? This post is a reply to the drama, not the beginning of it. Justin’s post came first, after his podcast panel with me and Patrick McKenzie. Then the nasty comment quoted below, in re: Justin’s post. Then this blog post. Yup, how boring and lame is that? DRAMA LLAMA DING DONG. Wooo!

Make things. Help people. Be happy.

This is the heart of every message I put out there. The critical factor is that you ought to do what makes you happy, not what makes other people happy — because so often, ne’er the twain shall meet.

This is incredibly simple, uncontroversial advice.

There’s just one problem: it can be really fucking hard to even know what makes you happy when everywhere around you, you see only one, unified message.

One option.

In the tech world, that message is “startups.” And the concept of “startups” almost without fail comes part & parcel with some kind of funding. Pitching, seeking, signing contracts, giving out shares, building a board, having to please them as well as your customers, giving away part of your baby and part of your control — if not much of it.

But all that? It’s not the option. It’s only one of many options for making your own stuff & helping people.

One colossally, epically over-represented, and often incredibly miserable option.

So if you’ve come here via the latest Hacker News controversy — via the ranty goodness of Justin Vincent — know this:

There is another option. Hell, there are MANY other options.

That’s what I’m here to write about. Not VC. Not funding. Not “social startups.” Not lean startups.

I’m here to talk about making products and bootstrapping. Subscription software, subscription content, classes, screencasts, ebooks, white papers, reports… that’s what I’m interested in. That’s what I do. That’s what I love. That’s what makes me happy.

And This Is Why I’m Constantly Speaking Out

This is not a crazy, edgy message, people. It’s not outrageous to want to make things, help people, and be happy. It’s not ludicrous to want to get there under your own steam. It’s not revolutionary to want to create your own products, be beholden to no one, to be in full control of your products and your destiny.

These are not dangerous ideas.

So why does the “startup world” often treat them like they are?

But here’s what a prominent, self-dubbed technologist had to say in response to Justin’s article, which was based off ideas I named and promote, and which prominently linked to me:

I’m disappointed that this has gotten so many upvotes and positive comments.

There’s a middle ground between web application “lifestyle businesses” (like duping credulous customers into overpaying for a time-tracking tool styled with this month’s CSS trends) and trying to start the next Facebook.

There’s nothing wrong with being a small software company. People have been doing it for decades now. It’s boring, but there’s nothing wrong with it. Don’t expect anyone to celebrate you for doing it, though.

In case you’re new around here, my first SaaS is a beautiful time-tracking tool. And I poke the hornet’s nest, so this is what I get?

Here is somebody trying to tell me that I ought to do what makes him happy, not what makes me happy. And in the mean time, slagging the shit out of my work.

(Not to mention insinuating that my customers are stupid and can’t tell software that makes them happy from pretty colors.)

Pretty unbelievable, isn’t it?

If people are attacking such a fundamentally not-crazy, not-radical, not-harmful idea… you have to wonder what the hell else is going on.

Funding Makes Lots of People Miserable

In my line of work, I’ve met a lot of startup people. I’ve met quite a few who’ve had their startups yanked out from under them… who sold, only to watch their babies murdered… who built something they loved, only to end up employees once more at the acquiring company.

I’ve met people who’ve had their VCs and boards run their companies into the ground, replace them, force sales. I’ve met people who were had to “manage” their VCs so they did as little damage as possible, but who were miserable that they had to do so.

The more I promote the idea that you don’t need to try to boil the ocean or take funding to be happy, the more people write me privately to tell me that they support my message. That they wish they hadn’t taken VC and that next time, they sure as hell wouldn’t.

I won’t name names, because I didn’t ask permission first, but some of them are people whose names you know.

My goal in life is to make things, help people, and be happy. So I try to help other people be happy. For me, that means airing out the dirty laundry about the “startup” world… and promoting other ways of living & working.

If these simple, deeply mundane ideas make you feel challenged and insecure about what you do or what you want, make you feel like striking out, go back to Hacker News. Go read the 98% of tech media that supports your viewpoint.

In other words: Chill the fuck out, Dominant Paradigm. This is not for you.

And for the love of god, stop insulting people by labeling them “lifestyle businesses.” Your bitchy slip is showing.

Entreporn. Aside: yup, I called most of what was on Hacker News “entreporn” in this panel discussion with hosts Justin Vincent & Jason Roberts, and “bingo card guy” Patrick McKenzie.

Ideology / Money / Slaying Unicorns — 24 Comments
18
May 10

Don’t bite the shit sandwich

CC thecheals (ps - it's Nutella)

The “startup” world is bursting with bullshit (or, if you prefer, ‘unicorn dust’).

There are bullshit peddlers on every blog-corner. They don’t want merely to get you to read. They don’t want merely to sell you their products now and again. They want to sell you on their religion.

There are two reasons to sell religion:

To feel validated
To sell something else under the cover of righteousness

Many startup writers want to sell your their ideology because they feel validated as human beings by your agreement. That’s not incredibly skeezy, it’s just human. (Though perhaps a tad bit unself-aware.)

And then you have the other group.

There’s a handful of people, prominent people, who drive their propaganda machines with a purpose: they want you… as grist for their industrial mill. They want to sell you on BIG things (high-dollar consulting, high-dollar seminars, systems), or they want a piece of you directly. An investor can’t exist without products to invest in.

They have skin in the game. Their outcomes hinge on whether you buy in.

So they lure you in by dressing up a shit sandwich.

Mmmmm! they simper through browned teeth. Tastes delicious! Just like chocolate!

Go big! Worry about scaling! Hire a CEO! Take investment — here’s how! Don’t charge! Sell your company to a big company! Never mind that it’ll gobble you up, chew you up, and spit you out as so much gristle!

I’m not one of them

I won’t lie: I’m trying to sell you on an ideology, too. That’s what I’m doing right now, in fact. And I will try to sell you products. I make some pretty fucking awesome products.

But I will never try to sell you a shit sandwich. My whole raison d’etre is to eliminate the selling and eating of shit sandwiches.

I am tired of seeing smart, capable, motivated people derailed by the idea that they need a plan for liquidation. That they need VC. That they have to grow big, and that the only way to do that involves a poisonous four-letter word spelled F-R-E-E.

Wanna drop that shit sandwich? Here’s what you do

This is the backbone of the new religion you can install to replace that shit sandwich in mid-chomp:

The best business model in the world is the exchange of goods and services for money.

If you have to dream up monetization strategies, you’re doing it wrong. Wal-Mart’s board of directors does not sit around their big, shiny mahogany boardroom table and propose monetization strategies. We all hate on Wal-Mart, but you’ve got to admire their ability to turn a profit. Which they do by charging money for things.

Because you don’t monetize a business. A business has the exchange of goods & services for money baked in from the start. And it it’s baked in, the idea of monetization is moot.

Money is better than monetization.

It’s shorter.   It’s sweeter.

It’s easier to say.

 And you can spend it.

Selling direct to your customers — providing value, solving problems — is one of the best highs there is. And it is a helluva lot more rewarding than trying to figure out how to fuel your car with your click-through rate.

That’s the ideology I hope you’ll adopt

Because, frankly, I want more people to see the light.

I want the world to be full of small, savvy, spunky businesses, like mine. Not for my ego’s sake, because I’m an arrogant SOB and I don’t need you to validate my choices. The one thing I don’t need in this world is to feel safe.

The icky, gooey bottom line is this:

It kicks total ass to work directly with your customers.

It kicks ass when you — designers, developers, writers, teachers — realize that you’ve had the power all along. That you can make your own products, that you don’t need a book contract, an angel investor, a gilded invitation, or even permission.

The fancy word for that is “disintermediation.” The not-so-fancy word for that is fucking awesome.

Now kwitcherbitchin, drop that shit sandwich, muster up your arrogance, and go forge yourself a business.

Create value. Charge money for it.

Disintermediate.

Change the world.

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