Bootstrapping


29
Nov 11

Fuck Glory – Startups are One Long Con

I’m in my early 20s. Startups seem to be the only way out of 40 years of mediocrity in TPS-land for me, so I don’t really think I have much of a choice. It’s startups or nothing for me.

Or maybe I am being myopic? Are there more options to be had in life than mediocrity/wageslavery vs glory/startups?


Random HNer

Startups are glorious! So raw, so close to the bone, so mettle-testing: 100-hour work weeks, sleeping under your desk, ramen, putting it all on the line, changing the world.

You know what else is glorious?

Glory.

“Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori,” is one of the most famous lines from Horace. You’ve probably heard it. It means “It is sweet and fitting to die for one’s fatherland.”

Here’s another one — drawn from Plutarch, allegedly said by Spartan women to their sons, as they gave the boys their shields before battle:

“Come home with your shield or on it.”

Come home with your shield — honorable, glorious — or die, for you will be without honor, and without glory.

Ancient times were all about glory. Glory’s not so big any more, but it used to be huge.

Glory was a way for fat old statesmen and generals, who never saw battle, to tempt young men to die by proxy for politics and petty schemes.

When glory failed to tempt, it was used to taunt, disdain, and guilt.

Or, as jwz puts it, “trying to make the point that the only path to success in the software industry is to work insane hours, sleep under your desk, and give up your one and only youth, and if you don’t do that, you’re a pussy.”

It’s about fucking time we talked about the fact that the worship of glorious death, and the startup mythos, are the same damn thing.

Every fucking time you see somebody using glory to hagiographize young men & women who are doing something clearly stupid, you must ask:

What is this raft of shit, and why are they trying to get me to paddle it?

And make no mistake, bartering away your “one and only youth” (jwz again) working 100-hour weeks on a web site for the promise of a big fat carrot on the end of a stick 80 million lines long, dangled by a fat statesm–venture capitalist, who will make 3x or 10x or 100x more than you, in the vanishingly unlikely scenario that you “succeed”… is clearly stupid.

So what are the motivations of the people pushing glory — pardon me, startups?

Money. Follow the money. They want a piece of you. Investors have to have projects to invest in.

The more kids who buy into the crazy dream, the more racehorses the venture capitalists can bet on, the more little soldiers the VCs can set on the board. The harder those kids work, the more theoretical chances the VC has that of one of his many investments making it big.

The harder those kids work, the less they question.

Post-hoc justification kicks in the more pain you inflict on yourself — because obviously, if you’re so terrible to the person closest to you, you’ve got a good reason, right?

It must be worth it, right?

I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation. War is hell.

— General William Tecumseh Sherman

Remember, if you question it, you’re a pussy. Startups are hard. So work more, cry less, and quit all the whining.

You’ve got no fucking shield so you might as well lay down and die.

Who are these crazy fuckers who say these things? What the hell do they get out of it?

But wait! Questioning a speaker’s motivations is an Ad Hominem Fallacy! Paul Graham says so in How to Disagree.

Oh, he did, did he? I’m not one for conspiracy theories, but isn’t that nice and pat?

As someone who has certainly studied rhetoric more than Paul Graham the Instant Expert, let me assure you:

Questioning a speaker’s motives is not only not a fallacy, it is a sign of healthy debate.

Otherwise you’re a wide-eyed sucker just waiting to be taken.

It’s especially critical to question the motives of the speaker whenever he urges you to glory, by tempting or guilting — and whenever he tries to sell you his religion.

You must be sharp, questioning, alert. You must be on your guard.

Inevitably — without fail! — those who sell glory, who sell religion, who sell noble wars, will not be in the trenches with you.

And that, my friend, that is all you really need to know.

There is no Mojito Island. There is no pot of gold at the end of this evil rainbow of suffering. There is no Asgard. There are no 70 virgins.

When you die, however sweet and fitting, you are dead. As the Roman poet Marcus Valerius Martial wrote, “Glory paid to our ashes comes too late.” Glory paid to the ashes of your days, burnt and gone, comes too late.

Fuck glory.

Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori:
mors et fugacem persequitur virum
nec parcit inbellis iuventae
poplitibus timidove tergo.

How sweet and fitting it is to die for one’s country:
Death pursues the man who flees,
spares not the hamstrings or cowardly backs
Of battle-shy youths.

Hi, I’m Amy. Like this? You’ll like the rest of what I’ve got to offer: philosophy, tough talk AND practical information on what to do about it. Follow me on Twitter or Subscribe so you don’t miss anything important.


24
Oct 11

The Truth about Success – Brick by Brick

Scene: Last Thursday, at a big round table in a — no joke — Portugese-Chinese fusion tapas joint, sealed off from the rest of the room by beaded curtains made of brass. At the table, a bunch of geeks eating finger food and shootin’ the shit.

It was, in a way, a business round table. (As well as an actual round table.)

The folks I was dining with run a hybrid consulting/product business, like Thomas & I did before we quit consulting. (Though these guys are a hundred times better at consulting than we are.)

Now, what you need to know is that these are great guys. Guys I’ve chatted with before about products. Guys who’ve inspired me.

One of them told me that I am brave — brave for what?

For putting our biz numbers out there. For talking about this stuff. For my dedication to drawing back the curtain.

I thanked him, of course. What a compliment.

I’m Not Brave…

But, the fact is, I’m not brave. I’m angry.

I’m angry that the vast majority of tech biz content is so much tabloid nonsense.

I’m angry that the stories we’re assaulted with every day are statistical anomalies and nothing more.

I’m angry that it’s become an assumption that “success” means getting a big fat investment, not turning a profit. That success means founding your own company in order to determine your own destiny, then happily become an employee again when some megacorp snatches you up.

I’m angry that nobody is willing to point out the obvious, dirty truth: when you can’t fund your own projects, you are at the mercy of the money men. And the money men do not have your best interests at heart.

Most of all, I’m angry that because of all of this, it’s almost impossible to learn what it makes to build a business from nothing, on the side, to profitability.

Don’t Get Mad… Change Stuff

So, I’ve decided to do something about it.

I aim to remind everyone that successful, bootstrapped product businesses are far more common (and far more natural!) than hockey sticks and big exits. And to show folks how it’s done.

So, I blog. I give interviews (see that sidebar). I name numbers. I tweet.

And I teach a deep, involved, pragmatic 3-month course that encompasses just about everything I’ve learned from launching my own successful, profitable products.

Stacking the Bricks

Below is a video lesson from my 30×500 Product Launch Class.

It’s called Stacking the Bricks, and it’s a no-nonsense look at how 5 businesses got started, and how they grew — including a couple famous businesses, a couple nascent ones, and mine.

This video lesson is part reality check, part battlecry, part kick in the pants. It is ruthlessly practical, and it’s an investigation of patterns and systems.

Based on feedback from folks who’ve watched it, I can tell you: It’s worth your time. Make it happen. (And let it load, because it doesn’t stream.)

Watch it now, here, or download it. Rip the audio and listen to it on your commute. Just don’t fave it for later, because we both know that means never.

Click here to download the MOV file

It’s 43 minutes long, and there’s a blip in the audio part way through. (Sorry about that, but it’s too important to get out there, rather than waiting forever to re-record.)

Ready to Make Your First Brick?

If you’re a designer or a developer who dreams of having an independent income made by selling products directly to the people who use them…

…if you’re not sure where to start, or how to get over the problems that have plagued you every time you have started…

… if you’d sleep easier if you knew how to drum up customers before you ever put pencil to paper or code to git…

Then my 30×500 Launch Class may be just the kick in the pants you need.

A kick in the pants followed up by sensible, actionable advice and a process (with workbooks! so many workbooks!) you can implement yourself. And, when you join, you get access to a community of nearly 200 alumni as well as your fellow students.

This video is just one of many useful, butt-kicking, inspiring lessons in my 30×500 Product Launch Class… and I’m adding more all the time. This lesson, specifically, is an accompaniment to the heavily action-oriented, workbook-based lessons. 30×500 helps you understand the why as well as implement the how.

Tickets are on sale now. (As of writing, there are just over 20 left.)

Oh, and: the price goes up by $100 in just a couple days.

Learn more now. Grab your seat before the price goes up.


3
Feb 11

Your Job? Ensure this NEVER Happens to You

When you create a product that people love, you take on a special kind of responsibility. This is what happens when you don’t take that responsibility seriously:

mixin closing cuz they couldn't monetize

Mixin was a very cool little tool. Lots of people loved it. And now it’s dead, because its parents didn’t ensure that they gave their little product-baby what it needed to survive.

What a product needs to survive, of course, is cash. And that has to be baked in from the very start; the product-baby must be trained from infancy, as it were. A product’s gotta have what it takes to convince people to turn over their hard-earned money… or it’s going to end badly.

Twinkles in your eye aren’t enough. Coolness & popularity aren’t hard currency — outside of high school. Even being loved isn’t enough.

All those who loved Mixin are now left out in the cold.

RIP Mixin. Sorry you weren’t given a fair shake at life.


28
Jun 10

Why I’m putting on a bootstrapping conference in Vienna

Yes, definitely Vienna. cc paula moya

Despite what my former American neighbor said — “Eh, it’s all the same. They barbecue and drink beer, just like us!” — up and moving to Austria has been a total shock to my system.

So what’s a girl to do when she’s voluntarily excised herself from her meatspace social networks and moved to the land of glorious socialism?

Why… start a conference, of course!

I believe Europe is full of entrepreneurial spirit…

One thing I love most about Europe? All the little shops that have died out in America, like butchers, bakers, shoemakers, clockmakers, glovemakers and specialty shops for real honest-to-god locksmithing.

Despite this rich, immersive heritage of real-people-doing-real-business, though, tech product entrepreneurs fall almost exclusively into the — forgive me — shoot-the-moon-and-boil-the-ocean category. Lots of consultants and freelancers, yes — but nary a bootstrapper in sight.

At first glance, one can’t help but feel that the people here just… don’t… get entrepreneurship.

I’ve heard lots of sophisticated theories as to why this may be:

  • Guaranteed healthcare and housing makes people fundamentally more risk-averse, or less ambitious.
  • All that paid vacation.
  • It’s so much more difficult to start a business.
  • Fear of change.

Eh, I say.

All of those reasons are true on some level — but on most levels, they’re bullshit. Those are the reasons that a very smart kid gives when asked, Timmy, why did you play football inside when you knew you’d break something?

They’re plausible. They sound good. They’re well-worn excuses that are easy to reach for. And they are wrong.

So what’s the real reason?

Why does anyone do things “on autopilot”? Why is anyone unreasonably afraid of a low-risk endeavor? Why does anyone simply not think of an obvious alternative?

Is it simply that they’ve suckled too long from the teat of glorious socialism? Or could it be…

A simple lack of role models?

By golly, I think we’re onto something!

Somebody’s got a role model! Just look at those eyes! cc woodleywonderworks

Role models are critical…

Think about it: When you’re surrounded by people who do a certain thing, you know, without thinking, that you can do it, too. That’s why so many Austrians (and other Europeans) are unafraid to open a restaurant, café, or little shop. They’re not only not alone, they’ve soaked up positive examples their whole lives.

On the other hand, if you don’t know anybody doing a software-as-a-service or charging for ebooks, it can seem exotic and risky. It’d probably never even strike you as an option.

It’d be literally unfathomable.

Role models? What role models?

In Europe, there’s practically no one you can point to as a bootstrapper. If they exist, they are very below-the-radar. Or you don’t know that they’re European until you investigate.

They sure as hell aren’t normal, everyday, oh sure I know Jim down at Widgets for Business, he’s doing very well!

Don’t take my newly transplanted word for it — I’ve asked everyone I know to name any successful, established bootstrapped web companies. There are a precious few, a tiny handful. Most of my acquaintances were unable to name a single company.

Why?

A lack of role models.

Entré vicious cycle.

Nobody doing it -> no role models -> nobody doing it.

I wouldn’t be here without my role models

So when I decided that I was going to make myself set down roots in this city if it killed me — I knew that what I had to do was be a role model and bring role models here.

I knew I had to try to create here the kind of city-network that I’ve watched my friends Tara, Alex, Tony and Dave create in SF, Philly, New York, and Baltimore.

Naturally, I never would have had the guts to take on such a big task if I hadn’t watched my friends do it. They are my role models.

That’s something I want everyone to have.

Announcing Schnitzelconf

Why should people listen to me at all? That’s the first question.

Well, I thought to myself, People love parties. But I suck at throwing parties… but maybe I could throw a conference. (I happen to know a surprising number of folks who’ve run conferences… more role models that make this decision a natural one.)

And thus, Schnitzelconf was born.

Schnitzelconf will be September 7, in Vienna, Austria. One full day of nothing but bootstrappy goodness.

Schnitzelconf: Sept 7, 2010 Vienna

We’ve convinced some really fantastic people to come tell us their stories, 7 speakers in all. Of those seven, we’ve “only” announced half so far:

Yes, we’ve got folks who do digital goods, software as a service, and even downloadable software. They are all established and successful. We have an amazingly cool venue.

Schnitzelconf is going to kick ass.

Did I mention that Schnitzelconf is not-for-profit? I wanted to keep the ticket prices low and, honestly, it’s a labor of love. To earn enough to make it a sensible business decision, we’d have to charge thousands.

So, instead, early tickets are available for only 250€.

We’re batching the tickets so that people have time to arrange their cash to make it work — another thing most Europeans don’t do is buy things on credit.

The first 17 early bird tickets are already gone, and the next batch (of 13) will go on sale in early July. After that, tickets will be 300€.

Why you should come to Schnitzelconf

If you’re in Europe, and not sure what to do, I hope you’ll come. If you’re in Europe and find yourself craving an alternative to tabloid startup culture, I hope you’ll come.

If your first reaction is “Eh, I could use that 250€ for something else,” I urge you to reconsider — and think of it as a business decision.

Schnitzelconf will be tiny — only 70 attendees total — to promote mingling. It will sell out, the only question is will you be one of the 70 who gets to meet and learn from people who are successful doing what they love?

That’s the kind of opportunity for return-on-investment you can rarely buy for a measly 250€. (Also, it includes food!)

That’s the kind of thinking you’ll need as a bootstrapper, whether or not you come to my conference.

Tickets will go on sale again in early July

The first 17 tickets sold in 48 hours.

If you want to get your paws on an early bird ticket at the lower price, you should sign up for our email list.

Oh yeah. And welcome to Unicorn Free. I’ll be blogging more about bootstrapping, selling products, and running events (like Schnitzelconf) here. You should definitely subscribe or at least follow me on Twitter.

Footnotes

[1] All tickets so far have been sold to attendees in these countries: Austria, Germany, Denmark, Spain and the UK. I’d be delighted if people came from elsewhere, too!

[2] I could NEVER, ever, ever do this thing alone. Much love and thanks to the people who make it possible: my husband Thomas, and friends Harald and Alex.